Yes, this card came up for you again today – with a clear message from Archangel Raziel:
Understanding why you do what you do is important. Why do you think that you need to defend yourself or explain yourself all the time? When you understand the underlying feelings that trigger this process, you then will know how to change it.
This is real work and takes a while for you to peel away the layers of your thinking. For this you will need to dive into your subconscious, and this is very hard to do on your own, as you need to bypass your ego. Try not to get distracted on this path, as it is a very important step for you.
Going to war with yourself is never a good idea, and it won't help you achieve your goals. The first step for you to take is to release all your hurt, anger and blame. This may be hard, as you have learned to cultivate those for a very long time.
Flying into a rage is not helping you solve the situation, maybe think about adopting a different strategy. Blaming yourself and hurting yourself in the process may not be the right path either.
It's time for you to drop your defenses and let your heavenly team guide you to someone who has the right experience and can help you.
(Fairy Tarot Cards by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine)