Today’s tarot card had a very specific message about one of the shadow sides of ourselves. After first receiving this message, I wasn’t sure whether I should actually post it, as I thought it was quite harsh. I also felt caught out, as though everyone would be able to see right through me.
And then it hit me. This time of year is all about going inward and coming in contact with our shadow side. And it is exactly this shadow side that makes us react and try to hide. When we do not look at and accept it but try to hide it away, it is able to manipulate us without us even realising.
Growing up I was taught that girls should be good and never do or say anything that is direct or could offend someone. The little girl that stood in her truth went underground, hidden in the shadows. Now and then she would burst out – mostly during temper tantrums or emotional outbursts.
It was the only way to make herself known – to shout out into the world that something wasn’t right. This, of course, gave me a reputation of being difficult and a tough cookie. And I could never understand why others saw me that way and didn’t see the good girl I was trying so hard to be.
The more I tried to be good and live by the rules, the deeper into the shadows the other part went and the more difficult I became. All the while still not realising a thing. It wasn’t until I started my Reiki training and shamanic development that I understood how this works.
To help us realise when our shadows come up, it is really important to be completely honest with ourselves. The bad thing is that we are all conditioned in certain ways and that really doesn’t make it easy for anyone wanting to work on accepting their shadows.
Most of the time it takes some outside input, like a really good friend who isn’t afraid to tell you some honest facts and then put up with not being liked very much. This is very straining on a friendship and it may be wise for everyone involved that a spiritual teacher is sought out.
The answer is within you, that is correct, but some answers are very easily ignored and hidden even further, that’s why I think it is always very helpful to seek advice from others. A good spiritual adviser will not only help you to gently and cautiously take a look at your shadows, but also be okay with it if you get angry with them.
A well trained spiritual adviser will also be able to understand where you are coming from and teach you how to go within and get the answers you are seeking in a safe environment. Doing this all by yourself can lead you to manipulate yourself into thinking that everything is okay and become intolerant towards others that mirror those parts you are hiding back to you.
For that reason, it is my opinion that self-help books or articles found on the internet do not replace an adviser or teacher. We all have a tendency to only select that which we feel comfortable with and when dealing with your shadows you really have to tread outside of your comfort zone. And to do this it takes another person to help and guide you.
Also, you will not be able to deal with your shadows in a day, a week or a month. Everyone is unique, so there is no time limit on how long it should or shouldn’t take, but what I can tell you from personal experience is, that it takes time and commitment on your part and on the part of your teacher/adviser to walk you through this.
To find an adviser/teacher that you resonate with may also take a bit of time and investment on your part. You can ask friends who they go to or take a look on the internet about what is available in your area. If you do not resonate with one teacher, go and search out another one. There is no shame in that whatsoever.
Love and Blessings
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