For weeks now this subject has been on my mind and I have been ‘umming and ahhing’ about blogging about it. Today seems to be the right time to do this.
Many things have been written about the ‘Twin Flame Phenomenon’, you can find lots of articles on the internet and videos on YouTube. Some wax lyrically about it, some are more skeptical, but most of them agree that this is what to strive for. And so, many, many people buy into it and it is a rather profitable business.
I’ve been confronted with this phenomenon myself by some lovely clients, who are adamant that they have found their ‘Soulmate’, their ‘Twin Flame’ and now want to know what they can do about it. My first reaction is always to try and calm them down by explaining that the term ‘Soulmate’ has been coined especially by Hollywood films and in real life this actually doesn’t mean life partner at all.
A ‘Soulmate’ is someone who is from your ‘Soul Family’ and can be anyone – your brother, daughter, uncle, friend, neighbour, etc. It’s not necessarily someone you want to have a love relationship with. A ‘Soulmate’ is someone who is here to teach you something, to press your buttons and to really help you grow. It is not the ‘true and only’ love concept from Hollywood movies. If you actually were in a love relationship with a ‘Soulmate’ – oh boy, this would be difficult, as they would push you out of your comfort zone every chance they get. Is this really something to strive for in a life partner? Well, in my opinion it would be far too difficult to actually have a loving relationship with someone like that.
Once my clients understand this concept, they bring out the big guns – ‘Twin Flame’! This term is all over the internet and you can get beautiful pictures, videos, articles, readings, etc. on it. This seems to be what to strive for in a relationship – nothing else will do. Oh, how life and love will be grand once we meet our ‘Twin Flame’. Nothing will stop us, no borders, continents, relationships – nothing. The merging of ‘Twin Flames’ is something so great – well, that’s what a lot of books, articles, videos, etc. will have us believe.
We all have a desire to raise our vibration, become more conscious, have a purpose and most of all – we want to be LOVED! This is what all the romanticising and coining of terms is all about – LOVE. We do not want to be alone and we want to believe that there is someone out there that knows us, feels us, gets us and most of all LOVES us and will never leave us because we are meant to be together. I understand this so much, as I’ve also been sucked in by these overly romantic movies, where the other person just ‘gets’ who we are and makes us feel like a million dollars.
But hey – wait a minute – stop – slow down!!! Why are we looking on the outside – I thought that all of the answers lie within us and we should not be seeking on the outside? Is love different? Or are we running away from ourselves by projecting these hopes and dreams we have about love onto someone that will come and simply accept us how we are so we don’t have to? Like the ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ of old, today this person is called ‘Twin Flame’. So much more spiritual, don’t you think?
And I think this is the whole point – we project and look on the outside, as this is easier than actually getting to know ourselves. Every time we meet a love interest, we hope that they will be ‘the one’, instead of actually going within and taking a look at our shadows and integrating them, so that we can learn to accept ourselves. We are so conditioned to believe that we alone aren’t good enough, that we need someone else to make us complete, that we don’t even question it. We blindly believe and try and lose ourselves in the arms of another.
It reminds me of losing ourselves in alcohol or drugs, trying to drown out who we are, because we don’t like ourselves very much. Maybe we should rethink this and start to really go inside instead of constantly having another excuse of why we don’t need to do this. The answers are all within us and so is the LOVE we so desperately crave. It doesn’t come from someone else, no matter what we call that person, it can only come from within ourselves. You see, if we do not learn to love ourselves, truly respect, accept and love ourselves – well, we will never be able to truly love, respect and accept another person. As hard as this sounds – that is how it is.
Okay, so what is a ‘Twin Flame’ really? In my humble opinion ‘Twin Flame’ has nothing to do with another person at all. The ‘Twin Flame’ is inside of us – they are the feminine and masculine energies that live side by side inside each and every one of us. The more we understand and accept this, the easier it will become for us to balance them. At the moment one of these energies is dominant and the other lies dormant.
Feminine energy without masculine energy isn’t whole, it feels unsupported, isn’t focused, is scattered, unstable and highly emotional. Masculine energy without feminine energy doesn’t feel valued, isn’t nurtured or appreciated and lacks real emotions. This is the reason why we are always searching for someone to make us complete. The lack we are feeling is real, but it cannot be filled up from the outside, as this process and these feelings happen within, only we ourselves can be the remedy.
To feel whole and truly loved we need to ignite the dormant energy – and this is where the ‘Flame’ part comes into it. Once ignited, you can feel the ‘Flame’ rising within you. The more it rises and balances out, the more complete and loved you feel. Now, this doesn’t happen overnight and can be a long process, but it all starts by you accepting the fact that both energies reside within you. The more you allow the dormant energy to rise and for the two to merge, the more you will feel complete. The more you integrate your shadows and accept and respect yourself, the more you are able to LOVE yourself - and then a life partner is a true partner.
Love and Blessings
You may also want to read: Looking at your Shadows